Arse-clipping day last week and "Mom" had just finished cleaning us out.
I sulked and glowered indignantly at the back of my cage until "Mom" bent down with her head next to my cage to retrieve a fallen water bottle.
I ran with the force of lightening and flicked pee in her face. The timing was spot-on.

DUKE: 1
MOM: 0

KEEP YOUR SCISSORS AWAY FROM MY BACKSIDE WOMAN!

DAMN YOU WOMAN! JUST...GIMME!

( GOTCHA! )



( PUMBA )

I has been poorly.
But all better now!

I has a new game!
It's called 'Pretending-I'm-Dead-so-the-Hewmans-will-scream!'
I lay out on my side with my legs splayed out at odd angles and pompously open one eye after the third worried shriek and stare them in the face as if to say WHY ARE YOU DISTURBING MY NAP, WOMAN!
So far, I've managed to get Mom five times a week with this game.
Dad - once a week.

I know I is an evil bugger and when I do kick the bucket, my corpse will lie for days because the hewmans will shake their finger at it and declare "Nope, not getting us this time!" and it will be my own fault!

Mom trimmed my arse again the other day.
She nearly crapped herself when she put me in the bath and saw something floating near my toes and thought it was a broken one. It was just a dreadlock of fur *evil grin*
That was my own bit of fun until I was scopped up in a towel and she was down there for a long 5 minutes cutting my poops out of my fur. She threatened to shave me if I didn't stop rolling in something nasty "Just to make it difficult".

HAHA!

SO! Me and the Pumba-Pig (Aptly renamed as he eats, sleeps and farts all the time) have been in our new house just over two weeks now and it's AWESOME! Well, apart from the Mom person who squeals revolting noises like AWW! at me everytime she sees me staring at her with my ears pricked up.
She and "Dad" have had me out a few times. I pissed on her, bit her and licked "Dad" just to annoy her :D
Mom has a thing for Netherland Dwarf's so I'm extremely spoiled at the moment - although I see the other stinky pig and the MASSIVE hairy rabbit downstairs get lots of Dandies too!
Mmm... Dandelions... Mom also lugged home THREE bags of Tesco's finest chopped carrots for us today (Whilst hiding the orange 35p stickers from our hungry eyes) We've got chew sticks and fresh hay every single day too!

The other stinky pig Wilbur screams like mad every time Mom opens the back door or rustles something plastic. We caught on straight away why and join in to kick up a fuss because:
BACK DOOR OPENING = MOM GOING OUT THE BACK TO HARVEST DANDIES
PLASTIC BEING FAFFED WITH = DRY FOOD/FRESH VEGGIES/STINGEY MOM SHOPPING IN THE REDUCED SECTION FOR OUR NOMMIES

Pumba keeps hiding in his Pig-loo but he's been sitting on top of it and Mom acted Ecstatic when he squeaked today because he's never said a word since we got here.

A new piggie and Bunny joined the ranks today. The Bunny is a girl - Oh YEAH! Mom won't let me near her because I'll probably break her if I hump her. I was rudely awoken with Mom's squeals when they arrived and we all got extra helpings of Dandelions as a welcome party.



( +9 )

I knew what was coming.
She had the glint in her eye and the scissors in her hand and I ran for cover as "Time to do the Rabbit's arse" rang out from the Living Room.
My arse needs trimming every few months as the hair gets quite long and ALLSORTS gets tangled in down there including my poops.

I really hate grroming time. I'm off to poop and rub my arse in something nasty to punish Mom.

No MOM I'M NOT EATING MY DRY FOOD WHEN I CAN HAVE NOMMY DANDIES!
I refuse to touch it.
She can't force me to eat the dry food, can she?